These things I'll never say
by Black Streak
Summary: Yuki's dreams are getting to him. What will come of it? Rated T for language and later chapters.
1. The Dream

Author's Note: _Italics_ are thoughts.

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own the song or the characters :'(

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These things I'll never say

(Yuki's point of view)

Hearing an alarm go off, I reluctantly climb out of bed and began to pull my clothes on.

(I'm tuggin at my hair. I'm pulling at my clothes)

After going down to the kitchen and eating breakfast, I move outside and onto the roof and notice Kyo staring at me from where he lays. I pretend not to.

(I'm trying to keep my cool, I know it shows.)

For the last week or so, Kyo and I have ceased fighting. I'm not sure why and I'm not sure if he does either. But then again, I get the feeling that my fluttering heart knows what my head does not. Just the fact that it can be described as fluttering must be a hint. I think I might have an idea as to what it believes could cause us, two eternal enemies, to stop, but I refuse to believe it. The notion is too ridiculous. Cautiously, deep in thought, I sit beside him.

(I'm staring at my feet, my cheeks are turning red, I'm trying to find the words inside my head.)

Okay. I'm lying; I know exactly how I feel. But I also know that Kyo could never even consider feeling the same. Though… it never hurts to try….

(Cause I'm feeling nervous. Trying to be so perfect. Cause I know you're worth it, you're worth it, yeah.)

"Kyo?"

"What?" He looks at me, face completely blank.

"Nevermind." _Or maybe it does._

"You've already started, you might as well spit it out!"

(If I can say what I wanna say, I'd say I wanna blow you, away. Be with you every night. Am I squeezing you too tight?)

Kyo's face is only about 7 inches away, only slightly turned towards me.

"I don't think you want to know what's on my mind though."

Kyo swiveled towards me to look directly in my eyes with an indignant expression, "How the hell would you know, rat?"

" I just do."

"Whatever." He scowls, looking out to the sun once more

"…..Kyo?" _Why did I just open my mouth?_

"What now?"

"I have a question." _Shut up! _I yell at myself.

"And what would that be?" He said with a lack of patience.

"Could you ever learn to like me..?"

After a brief moment of shock, he spoke carefully, "…. I suppose it's possible. Why? You wanting to see what it would look like?"

(If I could see what I want to see, I wanna see you go down. On one knee, marry me today. Yeah, I'm wishing my life away)

I simply nod like an inadequate moron.

Kyo leaned forward and spoke gently, "well ratboy, I suppose it would go something like… this," he says before gently pressing his surprisingly soft lips to mine as a ringing starts in my ears.

-Few seconds later- (third person point of view)

Yuki jolts awake and slams a fist on the alarm to stop it's cruel ringing, showing a small bit of anger for once. Sighing heavily, he lifts out of bed. This dream of him and Kyo had been repeating itself for the last couple of weeks. Yuki prayed no one had noticed how nervous he became in Kyo's constant presence. Of course, he didn't realize everyone noticed immediately, even the ever-oblivious Tohru. Pushing the dream aside, Yuki made his way down for breakfast.

(With These things I'll never say.)

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That was a lot longer than I expected O.O Please review!


	2. Wakening

Here's the next chapter to the much-unplanned story. Yeah, I have no clue where I'm going with this, but whatever, it'll come together eventually I suppose… Anyways! Rating is going up for slight Kyo-like language and possibly for future unchildish..ness. Don't judge my word!

So as before, the _Italics _are thoughts. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You know except a laptop, paper, pens, and my thoughts.

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(3rd person pov)

Yuki enters the living room as Tohru looks quickly up to him with an overly happy smile.

"Oh, good morning, Yuki!" she speaks in that annoyingly cheerful voice as though the world was a magical fairy tail and not an unfair, chaotic mess, all the while watching him walk over to the plate of food she left him.

Grunting his hello, feeling unusually grumpy, Yuki eats in a quick, but mannered fashion before leaving in a rush to get away from the girl who looks after him with confusion.

Walking through the woods, he thinks over the ridiculous dream, convincing himself the truth is not the truth and the sky is not blue and the grass not green, as that would be easier to believe then the fact that he had feelings for the cat. Shaking away the thoughts, he admires the woods around him, slowing his brisk pace to a lulling stroll. Summer had just begun and the leaves where now a vibrant green that almost hurt to look at. Luckily most of them hung to branches that canopied over the dirt path, shading Yuki from the cruel sun's harmful rays.

Looking down he spots a mouse running from a black and white stray kitten and laughs as the creature scatters into a tree trunk leaving the cat to paw at the entrance hopefully. Suddenly Kyo comes to mind and he can't help but feel sorry for the hungry feline before him. Yuki snatches up the kitten and hides it in his shirt. Veering off path and through the trees, Yuki keeps his gaze sharp to make sure he will not be followed by any who might have followed, aka: Tohru. Reaching the clearing, he looks down upon the little garden he had cared for ever since moving to this place. He places the kitten besides it and gives her the bit of catnip he secretly grew to keep her occupied as he sends some rats to attempt to catch a fish. As the black kitten with crystal clear clue eyes and white paws nibbles the last of it, the rats appear with the fish, somehow having managed to corner one and kill it quick enough to bring it back. Yuki thanks them and sends them off before feeding the little kitten the ripped up fish. Finally satisfied with helping the kitten, he turns his attention to the garden.

"How are things going so far?" he asks the plants and laughs at himself before proceeding to weed out every nuisance effecting his precious herbs and vegetables then proceeding to tuck the soil and natural grass snugly around each with gentle precision and a decent amount of pressure.

Moving over to a tree stump, Yuki pulls out a watering pale from the hidden hole and makes his way carefully over to the nearby stream. Since he had taken the path many a time before, he knew exactly where to step to keep silent and not trip on the tree roots, low branches, and bushes. He skirts through a small gap between trees and before taking the step that would put him out into the open, Yuki's eyes latch onto a figure standing midway through the stream. Gasping lightly, Yuki gazes at Kyo's barely dressed body as it glistens.

Kyo stands in the stream, barefoot with his shirt lying on a nearby tree branch. He hears a tiny noise and turns, only to see nothing. Dubbing it a simple creature of the forest pillaging, he turns back to the water and squats down before cupping the water in his hand and splashing his sweat covered form. Despite his natural dislike for water, Kyo sighs out with pleasure and relaxes his sore body. He had just finished another round of training and was feeling stronger, yet weak from the hard work. Standing up he moved over to his shirt and pulled it on, muscles rippling lightly, causing the hidden Yuki to shiver at the thought of them wrapping around his body and holding him close to Kyo's glorious, amazing, ripped….

'_No! Bad Yuki! You can't be thinking about those types of things!' _ Yuki mentally yelled right before thinking about the same things all over again. '_Shit_' he gives in to the thoughts, and then snaps out of them as he hears movement.

Turning to move back through Yuki's "secret" garden, Kyo growls as he spots a movement. He moves closer and finds Yuki walking towards the spot between the trees.

'_Just play it cool, Yuki, he couldn't possibly know that you had been staring at him, just keep indifferent!'_

"What are you doing here, Kyo?" Yuki tilts his head slightly with a look of dismissal on his face to let Kyo know the answer is not required.

"Whatever the hell I damn well please, Rat," Kyo narrows his red eyes at the slightly shorter boy, all the while thinking, '_Was he the sound I had heard earlier…? Wouldn't that mean he watched me though? Why would he do that?' _but kept his face straight and angry despite the curious questions running through his head.

"Alright, then leave." Yuki replies as his heart screams at the taller red head to stay.

"Fuck off, Yuki, I was just about to do so anyways…" Kyo speaks with an almost saddened tone.

'_What was that all about?' _Yuki wonders, thinking perhaps he should of just ran off before Kyo found him. '_We truly never could be together, could we…?'_

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Well, that's all for tonight. Perhaps my chapters will get longer eventually, but not tonight. Decided to not continue as song-fic but have that as just parts of Yuki's dreams. Perhaps I'll make a Kyo dream in here as well? So long! Oh, and I would be grateful to any who decide to grace me with a review… yes, I'm a suck up. Bye! XD


	3. It begins

Hey! Sorry I always take so long to update, but I've been working on other stories lately… that and I get lazy. Hehe, anyways, hope you enjoy!

_Italics are thoughts._

Disclaimer: I wish!

As Kyo walks off, he can't help but to move slowly just to see if that rat planned to follow him, hoping he'd pick a fight. Hoping he'd lose that demeanor of his, jump off his high horse and attack him. Or just do something to show that Kyo's words had some effect on him. But of course that couldn't happen. Kyo never had the delight of being so lucky as to force the silver haired boy react.

Nothing happened. Yuki didn't move a step and Kyo forced himself to keep walking forward, away from the pale boy. Though he refused to just leave entirely. Instead, he choose to jump up into a tree, adjusting the branches and squirming and moving his body this way and that until hiding within the twisting branches above Yuki's garden. Kyo forced one specific branch to move up ever so slightly to insure that he misses no movement below.

'_Of course, this is just to see if there's something the rat hid in my presence. Unseen emotions. Nothing more. Why am I going to such lengths though…? No, it's just that he's too observant. He'd see me any other way. I have to take such precaution. But if he does show any anger… oh then I will have him! That fucking bastard won't know what hit him!' _ Kyo grinned evilly, having justified his actions to himself.

(Yuki's view)

As the hot-headed… sculpted… cat disappears, I sigh and kneel before the stream, slowly filling up the pail and slowly make my way through each set of close trees till I eventually make it back to the garden. A thought enters my head as soon as I enter the clearing, '_What if Kyo killed my plants out of spite?' _I rush towards the vegetables, unaware of the eyes following my every move. Checking on each in turn, I find myself relieved to find that not a leaf is out of sight. I start at the right and slowly move to the left, giving each it's appropriate amount of water to keep it healthy and growing, then moves little support beams to insure that none droop or grow the wrong way. As this happens, I notice a little flutter of movement from the corner of my eyes and turn my head ever so slightly to get a glance at what it could be. Shying up to my side comes the little kitten from earlier, unsure if I still stand as a friend or if that had been a one-time kindness. Putting my hand outward, facing down and slightly lower than the kitten is, it seems to almost gleam with happiness as it scatters its way under my hand and presses against it in complete trust and joy, mewling for attention. Picking it up, I hold it right in front of me, then with a snap decision, decide to keep her.

"Lura. That will be your name, alright?" I smile and kiss the black fluffy head before setting her down and finishing up the plants.

Standing, I move carefully over to the trunk to put away the supplies, trying my hardest not to let the kitten trip me down as she winds between my legs. Eventually, I rid myself of the supplies and pick her up, tickling her tummy in pay back. Making my way back home, kitten tucked carefully into my shirt, her body small enough to not be noticed, she meows softly and I smile softly to myself, trying to shush her. I sneak by the kitchen and run straight up to my room before anyone catches a glimpse of me, knowing no one here knows how to keep their mouth shut.

"Here's your new home." I unbutton my shirt and her furry head pops out the top, looking every which way with a nervous curiosity I had once seen on Kyo's face when we where children and he hadn't learned to hate me yet. Stroking her head, I place her upon the bed then look out the window. The sun just reaching its high point in the sky, the woods gleam even brighter then before, the leaves' pigments seeming to almost glow and buzz with the amount of energy running through them. The clouds seem overly poofy and everything takes on a happy atmosphere, the world seemingly perfect for this one moment in time and yet I cannot help but feel a slight sadness as I think back on the events of the day. Of the look of disgust that I had seen on the Zodiac Cat's face. '_Speaking of which, where is he? Surely he would of stopped me the second he heard me enter, picking a fight or worse… sensing the cat with me.' _With this in mind, I watch as the day goes by, only going down for lunch, then returning and feeding little scraps I had hidden to the kitten, slowly adjusting her half starved body to eating again, being sure never to give her too much no matter her little protests for more.

"Lura, you can't handle any more at the time," I would whisper, frowning in worry both over her health and why I felt so attached and protective over the little creature.

Looking out the window once more, the land glows orangish from the setting sun and I spot a certain red head make his way out of the forest. As Kyo approaches, his eyes move up, latching with mine as he smirks. Nervously swallowing, I wait for the inevitable, hiding the kitten in the closet where she starts to explore, not minding the movement of location.

Kyo barges into my room and stands above me, grinning down to where I sit, a look of pure determination… or rather joy in his eyes. He pulls me up by the collar of the shirt. I don't resist him despite knowing I could easily get away if I wished to. Instead I found myself enjoying the proximity, feeling heat radiate off his skin and soak into me, his scent washing over my body. I resist the urge to let my eyes become half lidded with happiness.

"Can I help you?" Voice stays calm as ever and instead of becoming infuriated, his grin widens.

"You can. And you will be. That is, unless you want the family to know you're a cat lover."

My eyes widen suddenly, recognizing the situation immediately. '_He knows. He knows about Lura! But how? He must of hidden and seen me take her back'_

"That's right. I know all about your little kitten. Think about it. How disgraceful of a rat you would be if the family knew you had a little kitten in your possession? So what will it be? Do my bidding or be banished and disgraced. Possibly killed for straying from the necessary?" His grin widens as I look down and nod.

"Fine. I'll do what I must. Just don't tell them about Lura…"

And there we have it. Wow… that's the longest yet! I'll be taking down the Authors note that's in the way of chapter 2. Hope no one gets confused! Please review for I'll love all who do and will try to get my ass to work harder to write new chapters.


	4. A moment

Yeah, so I started to write a lot more often. If I keep up this pace, yay! If you're a fan of Death Note, you should check out my other stories, or perhaps kindly give your thoughts on this one? Suggestions or ideas you'd like to see in this story or as a different story would be much appreciated and at the very least considered!

Disclaimer: I would love to own this.

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"Why are you so damn worried about a cat?" Kyo can't help but to ask, shocked at the easy defeat of his silver haired enemy. "You should just hand her over to someone who understands and will take better care of her. You'll probably end up killing this 'Lura' out of spite for what she is. You should take the easy way out. That is what you rats are known for, isn't it?" Kyo growled out.

Yuki immediately recognized the tone, but furrowed his eyebrows in a bout of confusion at hearing it directed at him. '_Doesn't he only use that tone when Tohru does something idiotically honorable?'_

"Lura is my pet. No, she will not be so easily handed over. I'll take care of her, alright? Now what do you want from me?" he half snapped out uncharacteristically to hurry the conversation so as not to get any hopes up that the red head might feel something other contempt or hatred towards him.

Red eyes widened down at the boy, watching in half surprise as the usually cool prince growled and avoided eye contact as though facing an extremely touchy subject that he'd rather avoid.

"Nothing for now. Or actually, I want to see her. Make sure you haven't fucked up already. Then afterwards you will stay up here for the rest of the night. Do not come out for anything until morning. Understood?"

Yuki grudgingly nodded consent and walked over to the closet. Kyo eyed him as he opened it and gently opened called to the nervous kitten that had somehow found its way to the top shelf and was frightened to jump. With a sweet whisper of encouragement, Lura jumped down into Yuki's awaiting arms. Speechless with astonished eyes, Kyo couldn't help but to be a bit freaked out as the creature that should naturally fear and hate and want to kill the boy so trustingly went to him. _'Wh-why is this Lura so quick to go to him? That isn't right… isn't natural! She should be looking to me, but instead she harvests such complete trust for this… this Rat!' _Stumbling back a step, he tried to hide his surprise before Yuki could turn, but failed miserably.

Yuki turned to show Kyo only to chuckle at the look he saw cross over the taller boy's face.

"Kitten got your tongue?" he teased lightly only to be responded to with a sharp glare and scowl.

"Of course not. Hand her here." The red head denied immediately but the lie was easily seen through.

"If you say so." Yuki smirked, but moved closer then he ever voluntarily has to hand Kyo the kitten nestled comfortably into the crook of his arm and quite content where she was. The second Lura sensed Kyo's proximity, she lifted her head and excited moved closer, looking every bit ready to leap at him, mewling for Yuki to hurry up and hand her over. From the moment that Kyo took her till she noticed the distance of whom she now considered her owner, she cuddled and rubbed to the Cat almost as if trying to grab every inch of his attention and bring it to herself. When the moment ended, however, she whimpered and pawed at the red head, wanting to return to Yuki now.

Smiling at the obvious love that had already formed, the silver haired one walked over to take the black furred kitten into his embrace.

"Now will you let me keep her without fight?" Yuki patronized, glancing at Kyo and pretending to be annoyed.

"Yeah, yeah, just do what I say, understand? Don't and your ass will be mine, got it?" He growled out in response and stomped out of the room.

A few hours later, Kyo found himself yelling at himself over his previous words, '_Why the hell would I say it like that? That sounds so wrong! "your ass will be mine"? How stupid can I get? Damn him! And if I go back, he'll know I thought of it like that. Why am I thinking it that way?! SHIT!' _he unconsciously grumbled obscenities the entire way downstairs and to the kitchen for dinner.

"Kyo! Where's Yuki? Didn't he come down for dinner too?" Tohru mumbled partially at seeing the temperamental boy fusing over apparently nothing.

"He's not eating tonight. Some problem he wanted to fix or something. Don't bother him though, got it?" Kyo calmed down and tried to spot any disobedience in her eyes, not that she ever does anything she's specifically told not to do. Normally anyways.

"But… he's got to eat! Here, I'll bring him something." She nods to herself and then makes a move as though to do exactly that.

"Nono, don't. I'll bring something once we finish, alright? Just don't bother him till tomorrow at least. Not a word, you got that, dimwit?" he unintentionally insulted her, wishing she'd just stay compliant.

Confused and slightly upset at his words, she looked down and nodded, soon to be consoled by Shigure. The red head ignored them both and moved back to eating his meal, stretching out the amount of time it took to eat as a way of avoiding going back to see the rat that had recently started taking over his thoughts.

Eventually he did have to take that last bite and end the delay. Grumbling, Kyo picked himself up and quickly plated Yuki's favorites out of the choices to bring to the trapped silver-headed boy.

Looking down at the filled up plate, eyebrows coming together out of pure confusion he forced himself to think the question, '_How do I know his preferences by heart? Shouldn't it be, I don't know, difficult to choose what to bring him? I should have had to ask the little pest at the table and yet somehow my hands did this unthinkingly. Knew exactly what to do as though they could never make a mistake on something for Yuki. For that matter, when did I start thinking of him as "Yuki"? Unless…' _

He slowly made his way to the Yuki's bedroom, holding the plate elevated in one hand so as to open the door without difficulty. Quick and silently, he rushed into the room, closing the door seconds after opening it in an almost nervous manner. Turning to look into the room, he found himself caught in the smaller boy's sharp, intense gaze. Barely containing a gasp, the red head broke eye contact much to Yuki's amusement and set the plate down on a blank desk.

"Tohru refused to let you go without dinner," he explained, glancing as the only response he received was the silent boy's stare.

Finally moving, the snow-skinned boy stood and nodded in thanks but pushed the plate away with a quite, "I'm not hungry."

Gripping a lip between teeth, he tilted his head, mind blanking the same way it always does before he does something brash. After a moment's hesitation, he pushes the porcelain-skinned boy against the wall, trapped yet held captive gently. Leaning inward, red eyes locked with glistening silver, Kyo stops when their bodies come a few inches short of pressing, tilting his head down so that their lips are lined up, a mere 3 inches apart but moves no closer.

Jolts of nerves and excitement bundling inside him, Yuki whispers out, concealing his hope with a soft, "Kyo, what are you doing?"

Eyes fluttering darker with a foreign want at the feel of the silver-haired beauty's breath fanning his face, Kyo can only respond honestly, "I don't know." After another moment of silence, he starts to subconsciously move forward once more.

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YUP! I'm a bitch. Right as I'm dangling the moment in front of your face, I end the chapter. Want to complain? Tell me if I made a terrible turn to the story or if you hate me now? Write a review! Maybe I'll take mercy and be even faster to update than I was this time! Otherwise I may decide to take my own sweet time. XD


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